Can I even call myself a blogger anymore? *sigh* Someone needs to be twisting my arm to blog more!
Well it isn’t 2019 yet but I’m going to try, so hard you guys, to post at least every two weeks all next year. Y’all keep me accountable ok? Ideas are always appreciated!
I think I’m going to ramble a bit and give you all a few updates about what’s been going on in my life. 2018 wasn’t nearly as crazy as the last 4 years. Nothing apparently earth moving happened. At the beginning of the year I just really wanted something to shake up my life. I’m not sure if I even prayed for it because I didn’t know what I really wanted, but my heart was wanting something. Then, in early-ish January I was recommended for a job. My first outside-the-home, non-private babysitting job. I did paperwork, typed up a resume, and had an interview. You know I was nervous beyond belief! But God gave me the job. It’s still crazy to me how fast my life changed because of it.Soon after I turned 18, which was weird but not weird enough. Ya girl still feels like she could be 14. How am I an adult with a job already? Where did time go?
In May I graduated and was blessed by my friends and family in ways that I will never forget. I still cry over some of the sweet, encouraging notes I was given. I have never felt so loved.
This Summer was one of the strangest but still one of the best of my life. I made so many new friends and went on adventures, enough to almost tire this low energy homebody. It could’ve been an 80’s movie honestly, minus most of the drama and romance. I went to an amusement park (armed with pain medicine, bandaids, sunscreen, and peppermint essential oil for nausea – I became the ultimate Mom Friend), on a train to Santa Fe when I was the only actual “adult” in the group, to my last youth camp as a student, to the State Fair, and so many other places that I lose count. The Fall was… odd. Full of soaring highs and deep emotional lows. Something about the season made me feel lonely and really, really single (TMI? Maybe. But you all know I try to be as honest and vulnerable as possible with the platforms I have). I witnessed love blossoming all around me, in real life and daily on social media. I couldn’t check my Instagram without seeing another proposal, wedding, new baby… I wasn’t jealous or angry, just painfully aware of my current state. And it is painful! I know I am still young, and I have a “lot of time,” and I know I should use this time I have as a single person to God’s glory, but I am still a weak, fragile, sensitive human. God is working on me though, always!
One of the best things that happened during the Fall, and really all year, was starting to regularly attend a college Bible study group, although I am not in college. Which was a bit awkward for me at first but no one else thought so. I last minute decided to go on a retreat with the group, and its definitely a contender for best decision I made all year. Stargazing for hours in an empty field we had to hike to may have been the highlight. I’m still baffled I experienced it and didn’t watch it in a movie. It was one of the best weekends of my entire life.
This Winter has been a blur so far. Thanksgiving came and went and never really felt like Thanksgiving, and Christmas did the same. It wasn’t awful by any means, I still enjoyed the holiday season, but I was lacking those very distinct feelings. I’m still not sure why but it seems to be an epidemic! I’m going into 2019 (somewhat reluctantly, I know it’s awful of me) optimistic. So many people have spoken into my life that this year will be “my year.” It scares me and fills me with so much excited hope at the same time. I don’t know what God has in store but I’m hoping and praying. For what? I’m not exactly sure yet. He’s given me small, but oh so tender signs that He has a plan for me and all I need to do is be still before Him and allow Him to work without worrying, wondering, or complaining. Please tell me about your year, and/or drop me a post suggestion! I love to hear from you all and your thoughts.