Hi friends! This is a guest post by Crown of Beauty Magazine. Soon I’ll be writing a guest post for them, so stay tuned for that!
From the very beginning, God knew that “it is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). To this day, much of our self-worth is pinned on how many people we can name as best friends, how long our guest lists are for our birthday parties, and how few nights we spend at home refreshing Pinterest for more snack ideas. Everything is about the friend group: how to find one and how to keep it together when things inevitably go south. There’s that old adage: you are who you hang out with. Someone once said, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” And as much as we’d like to think that we are in charge of our own actions and decisions, the people we spend our time with have a huge influence over what we choose to say and do and what we choose to not say and not do.
So, what type of people are you allowing to influence you daily? Do your friends point you to Christ and His love? Are they encouraging you to stay grounded in the Word of God and seek after His truth in a world of relativism and feel-good morality? Are their hearts and minds set on things above? These are the characteristics of godly friends, people who will grow alongside you, who will sharpen you as iron sharpens iron. Friends who live like Christ are the most important people of all! The problem is finding these friends, isn’t it? How can we develop friendships that stick more closely than family?
1) Be that Friend
The #1 rule about forming Godly friendships, is to first be the friend that you desire to have! Are you looking for an accountability partner to walk with you through a tough time, or make sure that you stay focused on your daily Bible reading? Call up a friend and ask them if they’re interested. Do you want to find a girls’ Bible study on living like Christ? Text some girls and invite them over. As Matthew West so succinctly put it in his song ‘Do Something’, “If not us, then who? If not me and you? Right now, it’s time for us to do something.” If you’re looking for a group of godly friends to encourage you? Be that godly friend and encourage the people around you.
2) Love Unconditionally
We are all broken, sinful people. Even the best friends in the world will disappoint you, and there will be nights where you cry out to God for help to just understand what’s going on in your world. Sometimes you might think giving up would be easier than putting up with the drama you’re going through. But I encourage you to persevere through the dark times and love people as best you can. Jesus says in John 5, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”
If you kick your friend to the curb every time something goes wrong, that is not exemplifying the character of Christ. The world says, “You’re the center of everything, so do what makes you feel good!” But that lie couldn’t be further from the truth. As God’s Chosen Daughters we are called to love, forgive, and forgive some more. Give your friends every opportunity to grow and be who they are truly meant to be, as you extend grace, upon grace, upon grace.
3) Pray for Your Friends
Prayer is powerful! Oftentimes we desire for people to pray for us, and we ache for that support and encouragement. But just as we stated earlier, you must first be the person that you want your friends to be. Love them in the way that you want them to love you! So be the prayer warrior that God has created you to be. Ask your friends what you can be praying for them about. And then, most importantly, actually take the time to do it. Don’t casually shoot off the Christian cliche, “I’ll be praying for you!” if you have no intention of setting aside a few moments in your busy day, to settle your heart and petition Heaven on her behalf. Sometimes, it can be challenging to know what exactly to pray over our friends. We love praying scripture verses. It’s power packed, anointed, and easy to do! Just take your favorite verse, such as Jeremiah 29:11 and pray for your friend concerning things that revolve around that verse or particular passage.
4) Sisters Before Misters
We’ve all been there. That terrible moment where you discover that you and one of your friends like the same guy! Gasp! It’s moments like this where it is so important to step back and get God’s perspective on the situation. Oftentimes when we have butterflies dancing around in our stomachs, and excited emotions toward a particular guy, we can feel tempted to believe that he is more important than our sisterhood friendships. But you have to remember that this is merely a phase in life, and things are most likely going to change. Either she, or you will grow out of that crush and move on. Don’t allow drama with guys to tear apart your precious friendships. Make the decision that sisters come before misters!
5) Say “No” To Gossip
Gossip, jealousy, and lose lips are one of the fastest ways to destroy strong friendships. If you have a misunderstanding with one of your friends (which is bound to happen, because we’re all human!) or are worried about something that happened, talk to her about it right away. Not to another friends. If you have problems with a friend, discuss them openly with that friend, and that friend only. Everyone doesn’t need to know what Susie said about you and Sarah, or how deeply she hurt your feelings. Talk to Susie about it and clear things up as quickly as possible, without involving your entire tribe! If you need another ear to hear what’s going on, and lend some Godly advice, talk to your Mom, big sister, or an older woman you trust: not your peer group. Gossip is like a wildfire that damages everything in it’s past. Even if your intentions are pure, by the time they reach someone else’s ears, the entire story might have changed. Be known as a Godly girl with high integrity. Say “no” to gossip. Let your friends know that you don’t want to hear rumors, or talk about people behind their back. Set the standard, and make your space a “no gossip zone.” Because if you have friends who gossip with you about other people, who do you think they’re talking about when you’re not around?
Nurturing, protecting, and cherishing Godly friendships takes prayer, energy, sacrifice, and a whole lot of love! Relationships can be challenging and at times heartbreaking. But they are always worth it. Be encouraged to know that the Lord has other young women out there with hearts similar to yours, and you’re not the only one on this planet walking a set-apart life! At times, this journey can feel lonely, but that’s when we need to reach out and connect with others.
If you feel like there’s no one who understands your faith, relationship with Christ, and truly values your friendship and encourages you in your walk with the Lord, please feel free to reach out to us! We have a buzzing community of Christian girls who all love and care for one another, at Crown of Beauty Magazine. So come on over, and feel free to join the community! Get connected with your Princess Sisters! http://www.crownofbeautymagazine.com/
What do you guys think? Would you be interested in me having more people do guest posts on my blog? Are you interested in me writing guest posts for your blog? Leave a comment!